We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
