He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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