It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize