five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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