Welp...herpes.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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