apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
