Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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