he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
