ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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