hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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