I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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