is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
