You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
