I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
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you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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