ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
