so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
