just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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