ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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