I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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