I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
