never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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