They should really pass out barf bags in church
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
