Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
