For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
