why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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