I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
