The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
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