I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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