I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I forget how to act sober
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize