If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
There's always time for handjobs
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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