Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
