How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
