Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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