it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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