So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
