problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize