P.S. I can't hear my feet
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You are the jesus of drinking
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
