tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I don't deserve a penis
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
