my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
you made out with another girl for some wings
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
