does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
