I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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