Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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