My nipple is on Facebook.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
