it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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