Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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