Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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