Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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