Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
