so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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