Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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