wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
