i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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