Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
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