I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
someone owes me an orgasm
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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