we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
