Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
