It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
