butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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