Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
