I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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