You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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