ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Rumble strips road head = magical
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
