haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
