I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I am one with the molecules
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
