operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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