I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize