I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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